It was while they were eating lunch today that the magic happened. The magic of a golden opportunity to parent the way I love, brought on by a genie in a lamp.
The Brainiac: Hey, did you know that the genie on Aladdin is really a court jester?
Big Sister: What are you talking about he wasn’t in a court?
The Brainiac: No, I know that but the actor that did the voice of the genie was a jester or a joker, which is the same thing as a jester but they call it a joker in a deck of cards. And the actor that did the voice of the genie was a real life jester and made up most of the lines himself because he’s so funny. That means that the genie is based on real life!!
Big Sister: That makes sense, but I’m sure he’s just not really blue.
Umm, yeah…. Here you see a prime example of one of my favorite reasons to homeschool. It is not so that I can control everything my children see or do. It is not so that I can protect them from the dangers of genies and the scourge of common society around us. It is for moments like this, where I am nearby. It’s for the times that I can observe how they think and be involved in conversations to help them learn how to assess truth and reason. If they were at school this conversation could have happened over lunch, like it did today, but with an entirely different crowd and outcome. Kids teaching kids. The blind leading the blind. The dazed and confused spouting things as truth. Because that right there about Robin Williams? I’m thinkin’ wahhhh!?!?!
Now, after joining in the conversation it became clear that The Brainiac had been told that the actor, who he now knows has a name, is a comedian and he didn’t understand what a comedian was but it sounded like a court jester. Little minds take information like that and run with it and it becomes reality to them. That’s how a child can think until their 12 years old that french kissing is what gets you pregnant and that the tip of a boy’s penis just falls off at some point, usually in his sleep, and that is how puberty starts. Yep. Raising my hand. That’s what I thought because some little boy in second grade told me so. At least that’s what my childhood brain processed as truth. And yes, that would be second grade homeschoolers, me and the little boy. You aren’t protecting them from all these major logic fails just because you keep them out of the lunchroom. It takes more than that.
Kids have a high propensity to be know-it-alls. I’m sure you have your own little self-assured walking encyclopedia at home, and I’m sure that your encyclopedia could use a little editing as well. You see, kids talk and play. They talk a lot. They play a lot and they copy what they see. How they interpret something you or someone else say or do can stay with them,unchallenged in their minds for years. It can trickle down to some interesting tales that affect other kids. I love that one of the best parts of being so connected within our family is the allowance for conversations. We talk about everything. Jacob asked me about abortion this week. He didn’t know that’s what he was asking about but that is where it led to after a line of questions starting from a billboard about the Bodies Exhibit. Being with them at the right moment to help them struggle through those first bits of information that make no sense to them and helping them frame it properly, that is what our connection with these little ones is about. It’s not to control or blind them from reality but to be present and available for them. To be the safe place of confidence for them to ask any and every thing that comes to their mind. Along with that, are the moments when they don’t ask. The times when they think they have it figures out , such as a genie being based on real life and we as parents have the opportunity to step in and offer the valuable change in direction that their conversation needs to bring them to truth.
That is what I love about my days, and why I sacrifice the option of sending them to be educated elsewhere. I want to be in it with them. I know that my house could be cleaner, my hours more peaceful. I could focus on writing to my heart’s content instead of these random blocks of time that I’m able to sit here and share my Momstinct with you. But where would that get me 20 years from now? I want to be present and available. On the front lines of the support these little people need as they discover life, and I’m blessed that I get to be.
That’s all I have for you today. Genies and french kissing fails. Arms open for them when they need them, even if they think they have it all covered.
You may also want to read about another fun conversation with The Brainiac:
When Your Son Asks About A Hymen- How To Answer Awkward Questions
Talitha Seibel – Marginal Moms
Busting the myth that Moms have to do-it-all.
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words! This is one of the top reasons we choose to homeschool. There are others, but this one is one of the big ones. I don’t necessarily want my children sheltered, but I also don’t want their understanding of certain issues to be shaped by strangers or other clueless children. I don’t say “clueless” as an insult, either. I say it because I believe young children should be clueless about sex and other heavy topics. I shudder thinking about my kids knowing what I knew at their ages, with the frame of reference I had. I learned about “pimps and hoes” through the music of my peers. My parents never would have allowed me to listen to that stuff knowingly. My kids have learned about “pimps and hoes” through dinner every other Thursday night, as we welcome recovering prostitutes at our table for family dinner. No, we don’t sit and discuss the life they have chosen to leave over pot roast, but I have had conversations with my 9, 10, and 11 year old daughters about what they are escaping and the things that can lead a woman into that lifestyle. When our sons are old enough to understand, they will know what these women are fighting to overcome. In the meantime, they will practice being gentlemen and treating these women as they deserve to be treated, as Christ would treat them.
So you see, my kids know about “pimps and hoes” at the same age I did, if not a little sooner, but they are learning with a much healthier and edifying frame of reference.
The “I know my house could be cleaner, my hours more peaceful” part? It struck a chord with me, as I have wrestled with juggling it all, thinking I can homeschool/disciple/train them 24/7 and maintain those other two things at the same time. That’s the part I really needed to hear today. The rest is stuff already in my heart that I’ve never quite known how to put into words, until now. I’m so glad I found you and your blog.
Thank you for putting my thoughts into words! This is one of the top reasons we choose to homeschool. There are others, but this one is one of the big ones. I don’t necessarily want my children sheltered, but I also don’t want their understanding of certain issues to be shaped by strangers or other clueless children. I don’t say “clueless” as an insult, either. I say it because I believe young children should be clueless about sex and other heavy topics. I shudder thinking about my kids knowing what I knew at their ages, with the frame of reference I had. I learned about “pimps and hoes” through the music of my peers. My parents never would have allowed me to listen to that stuff knowingly. My kids have learned about “pimps and hoes” through dinner every other Thursday night, as we welcome recovering prostitutes at our table for family dinner. No, we don’t sit and discuss the life they have chosen to leave over pot roast, but I have had conversations with my 9, 10, and 11 year old daughters about what they are escaping and the things that can lead a woman into that lifestyle. When our sons are old enough to understand, they will know what these women are fighting to overcome. In the meantime, they will practice being gentlemen and treating these women as they deserve to be treated, as Christ would treat them.
So you see, my kids know about “pimps and hoes” at the same age I did, if not a little sooner, but they are learning with a much healthier and edifying frame of reference.
The “I know my house could be cleaner, my hours more peaceful” part? It struck a chord with me, as I have wrestled with juggling it all, thinking I can homeschool/disciple/train them 24/7 and maintain those other two things at the same time. That’s the part I really needed to hear today. The rest is stuff already in my heart that I’ve never quite known how to put into words, until now. I’m so glad I found you and your blog.