When is the last time you let your child do something for you?
That was rolling steadily around the inside of my brain this weekend, like the last marble rolling around, filling my headspace with the rattle and knock of something-not-quite-right. In my heart. My to-dos. My soul. My kids.
Things have been intense and bulldozer-like around here lately. “Just get it done and overwith so we can move on to the next thing that we have to get done and overwith.” That was the name of the game, but it wasn’t a fun game. No one was winning at it.
Mom, can I help cut the carrots?
No, I need dinner ready quickly. We have to get going!
Mom, why can’t I plan the seeds today?
I haven’t had time to plan. I need to figure it out myself.
Can we have a bath to play, instead of a shower?
We have to be up early. I need you in bed ASAP tonight!
"No." upon "No." for days on end now. I couldn't remember the last time I'd stopped and pulled out a “yes.”
The one that hit me hard, and stopped the “No” was when Mozart, caught me sitting with a heating pad across my weary bones. I do that often, still working out the pangs of an unexpectedly long recovery from something not-so-fun.
Being 7 years old with Down Syndrome is so very hard. You know so much and want to say so much more. But words are tough when muscles are weak and moving them takes work you can’t understand.
So his words are few and sometimes I don’t get it. I did today.
Mom, ouch?
Me, pray?
Convicted. Humbled. Aware.
I said YES.
Immediately.
My sweet son with the fire of saints and apostles in his soul, spread his sweet hands, weak and soft,unable to do what a typical 7 year old can do because Down-Syndrome-changes-so-many-things, that boy spread palms across my belly and pronounced the holiest of gibberish I have ever heard in my life.
God was there, power and love, and Holy Spirit descended with those short little mutterings of complete and utter faith. Utterances of truth clearer than any well-spoken graduate of a doctoral program could muster with academic pontifications, I’m sure of it.
Oh friends, that caught my breath and I acknowledge where my shortness and annoyance has gotten me lately. He moved my soul. I decided that YES needed more attention this week. This year. This lifetime.
My kids need more YES.
So on Saturday morning when I could have offered 3 pages of to-do lists as a reason to skip the Brainiac’s baseball game, I said YES and jumped in the car with coffee and 3 blankets because it was cooollldddd. I am such a bad mom at baseball-ery and I absolutely hate being cold.
When my sweet Big Sis sat behind me at the game and asked to braid my ragged hair that I didn’t want touched, I didn’t make excuses about not even having a chance to brush it before we left. I didn’t tell her that my nerves ached everywhere and I felt oh-so-flinchy.
This girl has so much stress of her own. 16 years old is just miserable. I remember it. I was miserable.
She finds strength in rest, spending time with horses. It mends her soul, draws her closer to God and instills her spirit with peace. I’ve seen it.
Also, it has given her an obsession and mad skills when it comes to braiding, plaiting, and fishtailing anything that looks like a horse’s mane or tail.
Including the mass of mess and knots on my still bed-haired-head.
Convicted. Humbled. Aware.
I said YES.
Immediately.
I said YES.
I heard her sigh of relief at having something to do with her stressed and worried hands. I felt the tension leave her as she worked through my tresses with a gentleness that was beyond what I anticipated. Her joy in playing with Mama’s hair grounded me in the moment. It made me love being in the baseball stands even!!
Well, that could also be the 3 RBIs that my son hit in the game!
It could be that today I learned that RBI means.
When my hair was done I asked Big Sis to take a pic.
I need to remember this. This, the best hairday of my entire life.
This right here, done by my own 16yo daughter is the most beautiful my hair has ever been.
Don’t you agree?
Say YES to something today.
To your friend,
your kid,
your husband,
a stranger.
Most of all, say yes to whatever it is you know Christ wants you fully invested in. Save the NOs and find some YES that calls you back to the place He meant for you to be.
For me, it’s them.
Bless the YES.
Share a yes you’ve said recently? Put it in the comments below. I’d love to hear it!
I love this! And needed to hear it!