Talitha Seibel – Marginal Moms

Raise Your Hand if Your Hands are Full

It happened for the 4,356,837 time today.  As my four (not 10, not 21, just four) children and I stood in the checkout line at Walmart with their new flip flops in cart, someone behind me decided to say it.
“Wow! You sure have your hands full!”
We moms typically don’t know whether this is a compliment or not when you hear it, until you see the body language and facial expression that accompany the much over-used line.
I turn and look to see a nice thin, tall hippy/earthy looking woman in her fifties who has the look of being happily single her whole life and terrified of kids.  Yes, I looked. No ring. Only a look of horror on her face as she took in the view of my little brood. She surely has cats.
I put on a smile, so as not to scare her and rattle of my well-rehearsed standard response.
“Well, better than empty. At least they’re full of life.”  Sweet smile…turn back around to my kids.
And then,  THEN…
“I just can’t even imagine… WHAT possessed you??”
Yes…she did.  I couldn’t make that up.
I took a deep breath to reel in my inner Madea and turned around again, using my happiest sarcastic voice…
“What possessed me? As in… demons? Do my kids look like the product of demon possession to you?  I actually have REALLY good sex with my husband. And often.  As for possession, these four are the most amazing people in my life and worth more than any other  POSSESSIONS that I have.  No demons involved in that. Thanks for asking such an interesting question.”
She started to sputter about her brother having 5 boys and it just looked like so much work….Oh, goodness.
I looked back one more time and just said. “It’s really fine. Have a great day.”
And then as it was my turn to check out, and all four were working together to unload the cart very nicely, the poor cashier smiles at me… and says…
“You sure have your hands full!”
Oh. Lord. Help. Me…. Poor innocent, unaware, little Walmart employee.
I put the smile back up and said “EVERYONE has their hands full. It’s up to you what you choose to fill them with. I choose them, every single day.”
She thought it was sweet. I didn’t look back at hippy free woman but I’m sure she had some sort of interesting response.
So in the defense of our full hands, moms, let us all remember that not having them would only give us empty hands to fill.
 Maybe with a life consuming career.   Look up the definition of consumption, will ya? I don’t want life consumed.  
How about 700 cats like this lady. Maybe just one or two cats? Or how about be a lover of dogs so you can  approach a mother at Piedmont Park  walking her adorable baby in a stroller, with the dog along, and fawn over the K9 while ignoring that there is an adorable little person right there that is actually more valuable. Oh wait, because they aren’t as important to you.
And we have pets. Well loved pets. It’s the section of the childless crowd that values their pet over small PEOPLE that get to me.

Ladies, we could have our hands full of money!! If we didn’t have them soooo full of our expensive spawn.  We are REALLY missing out.

You really don’t want to get me started on possession and the American need to fill our lives with stuff instead of… LIVES.  Because if we had more, we’d never be able to take them aaaallll to Disney!?!?

You could just have empty arms without them, and fill them with whatever man you want.  History has shown that does not lead to the most FULL-filling lifestyle.

And, mothers, let us never EVER forget the women who have empty arms not by choice.
A disdainful comment of  “You sure have your hands full.” is just as offensive toward them. Those who would give anything and everything they can get their hands on, to fill their arms with the life and love we experience every day in our children.

So, rock your full hands.  Look at them in wonder and awe… And come up with a really great standard response to be prepared for the millions of times it will be said to you if you have more than the standard two children.  Because until our society values these small people over possession, we will continue to shock them day in and day out.

For extra evidence to defend my point, here are my parents, with all 10 of us children, 8 children-in-law, and over 20 grandchildren (2 more on the way!). Do they look like they need pity?  They made huge sacrifices for us.  And I am so, so thankful for it every day.

THIS is what blessed looks like. Don’t ever doubt that.

To be fair, I have a career, I love our pets and I absolutely enjoy extra money and shopping. It’s valuing these over children, even when they’re not your own, that makes fire spew from my ears. It’s a small portion of the population, but they all seem to approach ME.
Comment with your favorite response to the remark, “You sure have your hands full.”  I could use some fresh ideas myself.
UPDATE: After being asked a few times today why the statement “You have your hands full!” is offensive, I spent some time thinking about it and wrote a follow up.
Raise BOTH Hands if Your Hands Are Full- 7 Reasons the statement offends
 
Like this post?  Try one of these:
Ludini Strikes- The Case of The Missing Boy (video included)
If My Life Came With an Owner’s Manual (FREE printable)
The Generation of Play Doctors (this one is intense) 

193 thoughts on “Raise Your Hand if Your Hands are Full

  1. I just wanted to thank you for this post.I.have 4 children as well (9, 7, 3 and 5 mo…3 boys and a baby girl) and I get this comment made to me every. Single. Day. And it has really been weighing on me. I even had someone tell me how sorry they were for me when I announced I was pregnant. I was horrified. I have also heard the comment “oh you just kept trying until you got that girl, huh?” Which is most certainly not the case. I never know how to repsond. Any ideas for me? I love your comeback for the hands full comment and plan to borrow it. Thank you!!

  2. I just wanted to thank you for this post.I.have 4 children as well (9, 7, 3 and 5 mo…3 boys and a baby girl) and I get this comment made to me every. Single. Day. And it has really been weighing on me. I even had someone tell me how sorry they were for me when I announced I was pregnant. I was horrified. I have also heard the comment “oh you just kept trying until you got that girl, huh?” Which is most certainly not the case. I never know how to repsond. Any ideas for me? I love your comeback for the hands full comment and plan to borrow it. Thank you!!

  3. recently saw a Momma in line at Aldi, with her 4 prob all under 6!! and heard the ” she sure has her hands full” …… to which this Momma of 3 ages 16, 13, and 10 turned with tears in my eyes and replied, ” I know, don’t you miss those days?! I would give anything to go back to those days, they go so fast” All little blue haired ladies in hearing got that far of smile and we all just watched in envy

  4. recently saw a Momma in line at Aldi, with her 4 prob all under 6!! and heard the ” she sure has her hands full” …… to which this Momma of 3 ages 16, 13, and 10 turned with tears in my eyes and replied, ” I know, don’t you miss those days?! I would give anything to go back to those days, they go so fast” All little blue haired ladies in hearing got that far of smile and we all just watched in envy

  5. I usually say that it’s not the amount of children, it’s my children’s personalities and intelligence that keep my hands full. Praise God that I do not have dull and boring kids!

  6. I usually say that it’s not the amount of children, it’s my children’s personalities and intelligence that keep my hands full. Praise God that I do not have dull and boring kids!

  7. Love this article! I’m #13 of 14 children and am pregnant with #5. My latest response – as those of us from big families growing up have heard this literally for decades…. “Well I’m guessing you want social security; someone is going to have to pay for it.” Or “I’m adding taxpayers; trying to help contribute to improving the economy”.

  8. Love this article! I’m #13 of 14 children and am pregnant with #5. My latest response – as those of us from big families growing up have heard this literally for decades…. “Well I’m guessing you want social security; someone is going to have to pay for it.” Or “I’m adding taxpayers; trying to help contribute to improving the economy”.

  9. In all sincerity, I don’t really understand why the comment “you have your hands full” is so insulting. It seems that to insinuate that you work really hard and/or that you’re busy. Why is that negative? I don’t get it.
    Granted, I don’t have children (although I love them and really want them), so I could very easily be missing something from a mom perspective. I just think that maybe people are admiring your hard work and not necessarily trying to be rude. Is this possible? Is there a tone of voice that implies dissapproval? I’ve heard the same frustration with many other moms, so I’m sure there is a piece of the puzzle that I’m missing

  10. In all sincerity, I don’t really understand why the comment “you have your hands full” is so insulting. It seems that to insinuate that you work really hard and/or that you’re busy. Why is that negative? I don’t get it.
    Granted, I don’t have children (although I love them and really want them), so I could very easily be missing something from a mom perspective. I just think that maybe people are admiring your hard work and not necessarily trying to be rude. Is this possible? Is there a tone of voice that implies dissapproval? I’ve heard the same frustration with many other moms, so I’m sure there is a piece of the puzzle that I’m missing

  11. Good on ya!! I love this article!!! I got to have just 9. So when people tell me that my reply was one of many. Well the first 6 were boys and no we were not trying for THAT GIRL. We were always thrilled that we got a baby. My sons all were hoping for a puppy or a tiger or a dinosaur or something way more fun then just a ‘baby’. Then when we did get a girl it was always fun to see their reaction to my saying, well the first 6 were boys so maybe the next 6 will be girls.
    Then when we got 2 more boys, I would say we are in a roll now! 7 boys then a girl , just 4 more boys and we will be up for another girl.
    When people ask how many children I have or DO I have any children, ,”yes, just 9″. I love to see the color drain out of their face. If they tell me , well I thought I had a lot with 2 or 4 or what ever (less then 9) I respond with , well that’s a good start!! 🙂
    I remember seeing a waiter shocked at our family size. BTW, they were VERY well behaved. He asked why we had so many children? I just said, oh , well II don’t want to die alone. The whole rest of the meal he had a look of thoughtfulness on his face and just kept complimenting us on how well behaved and polite the children were.
    Thanks for this article!!

  12. Good on ya!! I love this article!!! I got to have just 9. So when people tell me that my reply was one of many. Well the first 6 were boys and no we were not trying for THAT GIRL. We were always thrilled that we got a baby. My sons all were hoping for a puppy or a tiger or a dinosaur or something way more fun then just a ‘baby’. Then when we did get a girl it was always fun to see their reaction to my saying, well the first 6 were boys so maybe the next 6 will be girls.
    Then when we got 2 more boys, I would say we are in a roll now! 7 boys then a girl , just 4 more boys and we will be up for another girl.
    When people ask how many children I have or DO I have any children, ,”yes, just 9″. I love to see the color drain out of their face. If they tell me , well I thought I had a lot with 2 or 4 or what ever (less then 9) I respond with , well that’s a good start!! 🙂
    I remember seeing a waiter shocked at our family size. BTW, they were VERY well behaved. He asked why we had so many children? I just said, oh , well II don’t want to die alone. The whole rest of the meal he had a look of thoughtfulness on his face and just kept complimenting us on how well behaved and polite the children were.
    Thanks for this article!!

  13. I just wanted to add that my questions are out of genuine interest. I don’t mean to be rude with my lack of understanding. I’m just curious because I could see myself making a comment to a mom about being busy and I wouldn’t want it to come across in the wrong way. I would love to “have my hands full”

  14. I just wanted to add that my questions are out of genuine interest. I don’t mean to be rude with my lack of understanding. I’m just curious because I could see myself making a comment to a mom about being busy and I wouldn’t want it to come across in the wrong way. I would love to “have my hands full”

  15. I SO appreciate this! I’m a mom of 3 and pregnant with #4. They don’t know our story. They don’t know how far I’ve went to love, defend, and take care of my children. How hard it was conceiving my children and carrying my children, then having c-sections to birth my children. I wouldn’t give them up for the world. Yes, ma’am, my hands are full, but they’re full of the most amazing miracles in the universe. They’re full of love, hope and joy. They’re also full of children’s tiny hands so the person who says “WOW! Your hands are full!” should be thankful I can’t hurl something at their head for not minding their own business!

  16. I SO appreciate this! I’m a mom of 3 and pregnant with #4. They don’t know our story. They don’t know how far I’ve went to love, defend, and take care of my children. How hard it was conceiving my children and carrying my children, then having c-sections to birth my children. I wouldn’t give them up for the world. Yes, ma’am, my hands are full, but they’re full of the most amazing miracles in the universe. They’re full of love, hope and joy. They’re also full of children’s tiny hands so the person who says “WOW! Your hands are full!” should be thankful I can’t hurl something at their head for not minding their own business!

  17. There will come a day when you will wish those hands and arms were full once again. Children are a blessing from the Lord and I wish I still had the chance of having more.

  18. There will come a day when you will wish those hands and arms were full once again. Children are a blessing from the Lord and I wish I still had the chance of having more.

  19. I have two very curious and active children and get the “hands full” comment often. My response is always ” I sure do, but I would not have it any other way. They keep me on my toes, that’s for sure!”

  20. I have two very curious and active children and get the “hands full” comment often. My response is always ” I sure do, but I would not have it any other way. They keep me on my toes, that’s for sure!”

  21. I had four children six and under. When I got that comment I would respond,
    “Yes, my hands are full and so is my heart!”

  22. I had four children six and under. When I got that comment I would respond,
    “Yes, my hands are full and so is my heart!”

  23. Tiffany, it is a great question and not an uncommon one. I think many people say it without thinking about it. Here is why it is personally defensive to me.
    1. A child who is often badly behaved is called “a handful”. I have 4 children.
    2. I have never had someone say it with a look or tone that implies they admire my position. I DO get comments that are wonderful and encouraging. When people complement my children or myself, it has never been with such a knee jerk statement. They typically use their own words or something about how they miss theirs, wish they had had more, etc.
    3. In other instances in life where we see someone with their “hands full”, we assume that they need help. Maybe they are about to drop something. They must be overloaded. And that the “full hands” certainly can’t hold anything else, so what else is there to me?
    4. It is always an unsolicited comment, out of the blue. Typically by someone who is watching you with soooo many kids, and then accidentally makes eye contact and can’t think of anything to say. They’re uncomfortable. It’s like the southern habit of saying “Well, bless her heart.”. Which is really the same as calling someone a fool in need of pity.
    5. For a busy mother who loves her life with her kids (even if she looks haggard) it gives us the same feeling that it gives a single woman when she is patronized for being alone. “You’re such a LOVELY girl. I just can’t believe some nice man hasn’t snatched you up yet.” That single girl may love the way her life is, or she may want a man in it. Whichever way she feels, the comment just kinda sucks.
    6. Ultimately, it often unintentionally implies that this is all work. They are looking at me and what I must have to do and how much it is. It doesn’t account for the 4 little people standing before them, or see them as the amazing individuals that they each are. It is a comment that focuses on what appears to be overwhelming, without mention of the overwhelming wonder that each and every child is.

  24. Tiffany, it is a great question and not an uncommon one. I think many people say it without thinking about it. Here is why it is personally defensive to me.
    1. A child who is often badly behaved is called “a handful”. I have 4 children.
    2. I have never had someone say it with a look or tone that implies they admire my position. I DO get comments that are wonderful and encouraging. When people complement my children or myself, it has never been with such a knee jerk statement. They typically use their own words or something about how they miss theirs, wish they had had more, etc.
    3. In other instances in life where we see someone with their “hands full”, we assume that they need help. Maybe they are about to drop something. They must be overloaded. And that the “full hands” certainly can’t hold anything else, so what else is there to me?
    4. It is always an unsolicited comment, out of the blue. Typically by someone who is watching you with soooo many kids, and then accidentally makes eye contact and can’t think of anything to say. They’re uncomfortable. It’s like the southern habit of saying “Well, bless her heart.”. Which is really the same as calling someone a fool in need of pity.
    5. For a busy mother who loves her life with her kids (even if she looks haggard) it gives us the same feeling that it gives a single woman when she is patronized for being alone. “You’re such a LOVELY girl. I just can’t believe some nice man hasn’t snatched you up yet.” That single girl may love the way her life is, or she may want a man in it. Whichever way she feels, the comment just kinda sucks.
    6. Ultimately, it often unintentionally implies that this is all work. They are looking at me and what I must have to do and how much it is. It doesn’t account for the 4 little people standing before them, or see them as the amazing individuals that they each are. It is a comment that focuses on what appears to be overwhelming, without mention of the overwhelming wonder that each and every child is.

  25. I miss those days when people would gasp and asked the question, “Do you KNOW how babies are made?”, I would just smile and say politely, “Yes, and I wish I could have more”, I only have 8! At one time all 8 were 12 years old and younger. I look wistfully at women with little children; mine are now 28 years old to 16 yrs. I
    so miss those young years….they were exhausting, but so incredibly fun. If laughter is good medicine, we are all going to live long healthy lives.

  26. I miss those days when people would gasp and asked the question, “Do you KNOW how babies are made?”, I would just smile and say politely, “Yes, and I wish I could have more”, I only have 8! At one time all 8 were 12 years old and younger. I look wistfully at women with little children; mine are now 28 years old to 16 yrs. I
    so miss those young years….they were exhausting, but so incredibly fun. If laughter is good medicine, we are all going to live long healthy lives.

  27. I get this often as I’m running around with my 3 children. Having been raised in a family of 7, I honestly don’t feel like I have that big a family. Whenever someone says that to me, I usually respond, “I know, isn’t it wonderful?” and leave it at that.

  28. I get this often as I’m running around with my 3 children. Having been raised in a family of 7, I honestly don’t feel like I have that big a family. Whenever someone says that to me, I usually respond, “I know, isn’t it wonderful?” and leave it at that.

  29. I have 4 children as well, and my oldest is 5 with no multiple births. I get this comment frequently, and in my experience, most people don’t mean anything offensive by it. (There are always exceptions.) I think it’s often spoken by someone who feels the need to say something, and my children are far more interesting to talk about than the weather or other usual pleasantries.
    My most common response is usually “yes, full of good things”, although there are times I respond with “yes, so could you please open the door?” or “yes, so could you please put that bag of cat food in my cart” or something like that.

  30. I have 4 children as well, and my oldest is 5 with no multiple births. I get this comment frequently, and in my experience, most people don’t mean anything offensive by it. (There are always exceptions.) I think it’s often spoken by someone who feels the need to say something, and my children are far more interesting to talk about than the weather or other usual pleasantries.
    My most common response is usually “yes, full of good things”, although there are times I respond with “yes, so could you please open the door?” or “yes, so could you please put that bag of cat food in my cart” or something like that.

  31. Tiffany, I’m sure if you made the comment sincerely, any one of us would take it that way. It’s not the words per se, it is the condension that comes with it and yes, I also think it’s often something that just falls out of their mouths without thinking. It gives those of us who have children a chance to witness. When you’re raised with it, you learn to let it roll off most of the time but there are always the few that keep going after the first comment that leads to the frustration one feels regarding the comment/attitude altogether.

  32. Tiffany, I’m sure if you made the comment sincerely, any one of us would take it that way. It’s not the words per se, it is the condension that comes with it and yes, I also think it’s often something that just falls out of their mouths without thinking. It gives those of us who have children a chance to witness. When you’re raised with it, you learn to let it roll off most of the time but there are always the few that keep going after the first comment that leads to the frustration one feels regarding the comment/attitude altogether.

  33. I absolutely saw your questions as genuine and sincere! Thank you for them. I hope that my response gave you an idea of the reasons such a small simple statement rubs so many moms the wrong way.
    It never would have bothered me before I had kids, so I can understand why it doesn’t make sense. And maybe we are too sensitive. But I don’t know many moms who take it as a compliment, so I feel like that is saying something about what it implies to us?
    Thank you for stopping by Momstinct!! I hope that your hands and heart will be full as you would love them to be in the future!!

  34. I absolutely saw your questions as genuine and sincere! Thank you for them. I hope that my response gave you an idea of the reasons such a small simple statement rubs so many moms the wrong way.
    It never would have bothered me before I had kids, so I can understand why it doesn’t make sense. And maybe we are too sensitive. But I don’t know many moms who take it as a compliment, so I feel like that is saying something about what it implies to us?
    Thank you for stopping by Momstinct!! I hope that your hands and heart will be full as you would love them to be in the future!!

  35. I hear this remark now and then not because of the number of kids I have but because one of them has severe special needs. It’s usually well meaning nurses or occasionally a stranger. I usually just say, ”
    she is so worth it.”

  36. I hear this remark now and then not because of the number of kids I have but because one of them has severe special needs. It’s usually well meaning nurses or occasionally a stranger. I usually just say, ”
    she is so worth it.”

  37. I’ll be the oddball mom that doesn’t mind getting the hands-full comments. But, I’m also generally so busy just “being” with my kids, that I don’t pick up on whether the commentator’s intentions are passive-aggressive or not. More often than not, it has been some kind man who is offering to open a door for my 3 small kids and I, or another mother with her kids, who gives me that look that says “I know. It is *hard* but it is *amazing*. Fight the good fight, warrior.”
    Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely gotten more than my share of snarky comments about my tiny crew, but I’ve been fortunate that this particular comment isn’t used to sneakily attack my family choices.

  38. I’ll be the oddball mom that doesn’t mind getting the hands-full comments. But, I’m also generally so busy just “being” with my kids, that I don’t pick up on whether the commentator’s intentions are passive-aggressive or not. More often than not, it has been some kind man who is offering to open a door for my 3 small kids and I, or another mother with her kids, who gives me that look that says “I know. It is *hard* but it is *amazing*. Fight the good fight, warrior.”
    Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely gotten more than my share of snarky comments about my tiny crew, but I’ve been fortunate that this particular comment isn’t used to sneakily attack my family choices.

  39. My favorite response to “You have your hands full…”
    “Yes, a handful of blessings!”
    Great article. Thanks for the encouragement.

  40. My favorite response to “You have your hands full…”
    “Yes, a handful of blessings!”
    Great article. Thanks for the encouragement.

  41. Maybe it’s because I have a small family compared to others? I only have 3 kids – 7, 5, and almost 3

  42. Maybe it’s because I have a small family compared to others? I only have 3 kids – 7, 5, and almost 3

  43. Maybe, maybe not? Now that I think of it, I may get it a lot because I live in West Midtown with 4 kids. I wonder if that plays into the shock factor. I also often answer, “You think so? It’s only 4!”

  44. Maybe, maybe not? Now that I think of it, I may get it a lot because I live in West Midtown with 4 kids. I wonder if that plays into the shock factor. I also often answer, “You think so? It’s only 4!”

  45. I also have three boys and a girl, and I get that all the time. I usually say something about we didn’t care if she was a boy or a girl, just wanted another baby (which is true), but I hate the question.

  46. I also have three boys and a girl, and I get that all the time. I usually say something about we didn’t care if she was a boy or a girl, just wanted another baby (which is true), but I hate the question.

  47. Love both of the posts. I have 4 children under 5. Two boys, two girls. I also have two stepdaughters who visit. I get this comment often. Never know what to say so thank you for the ideas!!
    Anybody else get the comment ‘you need to get a tv’ or ‘don’t you have a tv in your room’.
    Any ideas on how to ‘politely’ respond to this ruder than rude comment?? I have heard it often but it still shocks me every time and renders me speechless!!!

  48. Love both of the posts. I have 4 children under 5. Two boys, two girls. I also have two stepdaughters who visit. I get this comment often. Never know what to say so thank you for the ideas!!
    Anybody else get the comment ‘you need to get a tv’ or ‘don’t you have a tv in your room’.
    Any ideas on how to ‘politely’ respond to this ruder than rude comment?? I have heard it often but it still shocks me every time and renders me speechless!!!

  49. I love this post. I hear this all the time too when people see I have twins with one on the way. The funny thing is is I don’t feel like my hands are full at all, so when people say that I just say no. They always look dumbfounded. Lol

  50. I love this post. I hear this all the time too when people see I have twins with one on the way. The funny thing is is I don’t feel like my hands are full at all, so when people say that I just say no. They always look dumbfounded. Lol

  51. I only have three kids, and they’re three years apart. And this statement drives me batty!!!! My parenting mentor, who has 10 kids, taught me to use the reply, “Well sure my hands are full; but my heart is fuller still.” It is astonishing how often that takes the conversation 180 degrees from where it started, and puts the focus back on loving the children we have.

  52. I only have three kids, and they’re three years apart. And this statement drives me batty!!!! My parenting mentor, who has 10 kids, taught me to use the reply, “Well sure my hands are full; but my heart is fuller still.” It is astonishing how often that takes the conversation 180 degrees from where it started, and puts the focus back on loving the children we have.

  53. We are blessed with six. I always respond with “…in a good way.” or, “I am blessed.”

  54. We are blessed with six. I always respond with “…in a good way.” or, “I am blessed.”

  55. My hubby and I have 4 kiddos, 10 yo daughter, 5 yo twin girls and a 10 month old son. As I’m a SAHM, I am out and about with 3 of the 4 daily and get this statement a lot. Also we get the “had to keep trying for the boy” comment. Usually I respond with I don’t know what I’d do without them. (As to the cat comment, when my oldest was a toddler we had 30 cats, kittens and older cats; now we have two kitties). Really, I don’t know what I’d do without them. Hubby is off on Fridays and sometimes he’ll watch the kiddos so I can go do something with the car, run an errand or whatever, but it always feels so strange. We’d have more but medically I can’t. I was always told never have kids due to my medical condition. 4 is my limit lol. We always get those well mannered comment too, like they expect us to let them run over us, they always sound shocked when they say it. My hands are full and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  56. My hubby and I have 4 kiddos, 10 yo daughter, 5 yo twin girls and a 10 month old son. As I’m a SAHM, I am out and about with 3 of the 4 daily and get this statement a lot. Also we get the “had to keep trying for the boy” comment. Usually I respond with I don’t know what I’d do without them. (As to the cat comment, when my oldest was a toddler we had 30 cats, kittens and older cats; now we have two kitties). Really, I don’t know what I’d do without them. Hubby is off on Fridays and sometimes he’ll watch the kiddos so I can go do something with the car, run an errand or whatever, but it always feels so strange. We’d have more but medically I can’t. I was always told never have kids due to my medical condition. 4 is my limit lol. We always get those well mannered comment too, like they expect us to let them run over us, they always sound shocked when they say it. My hands are full and I wouldn’t have it any other way!

  57. I am a mother of four boys. At the height of my “hands full” stage, the boys ranged in age from 8 months to ten years. I, too, heard this comment more times than I could possibly count. At this stage of my life, the youngest is 13, and in four months he will be the only one left at home. I miss the hands full stage, but am also enjoying this season as well. I just have to share that no matter how many times I heard the comment, I was never offended by it. I think that we can choose to take offense at things, or choose not to. It always seemed to me to be a fairly benign comment. Is it possible that there has been so much criticism and lack of understanding regarding those of us who make the choice to have large families that perhaps some of us are hearing an insult that is just not there in the majority of cases?

  58. I am a mother of four boys. At the height of my “hands full” stage, the boys ranged in age from 8 months to ten years. I, too, heard this comment more times than I could possibly count. At this stage of my life, the youngest is 13, and in four months he will be the only one left at home. I miss the hands full stage, but am also enjoying this season as well. I just have to share that no matter how many times I heard the comment, I was never offended by it. I think that we can choose to take offense at things, or choose not to. It always seemed to me to be a fairly benign comment. Is it possible that there has been so much criticism and lack of understanding regarding those of us who make the choice to have large families that perhaps some of us are hearing an insult that is just not there in the majority of cases?

  59. I went back to school when I was pregnant with my second daughter and I’ll never forget sitting down in my advisers office for a classes consultation. She asked me if I already had a toddler and I said yes, a 2 year old. With no trace of a smile she replied, you know there are things you can do to prevent pregnancy, right? Ever heard of birth control? I couldn’t even speak! I mean this would be my SECOND kid!?!?!?!?!?! It hurt my heart to think about all of the people like her who see children as burdens to be tolerated instead of the exhausting blessings they truly are.

  60. I went back to school when I was pregnant with my second daughter and I’ll never forget sitting down in my advisers office for a classes consultation. She asked me if I already had a toddler and I said yes, a 2 year old. With no trace of a smile she replied, you know there are things you can do to prevent pregnancy, right? Ever heard of birth control? I couldn’t even speak! I mean this would be my SECOND kid!?!?!?!?!?! It hurt my heart to think about all of the people like her who see children as burdens to be tolerated instead of the exhausting blessings they truly are.

  61. Thank you for this article, Talitha. There has only been one time that the “hands full” comment did not come across as rude and condescending to me. It was the one time that someone saw me unloading my 4 kids and the groceries into my van, said, “You have your hands full!” Then waited for me to finish unloading so they could take my cart for me. Their offer to actually help a busy mom changed the entire tone of the statement.
    I don’t find it so much an issue of how many kids you have, but in how people view children. So often people imply that children are such a burden. The “hands full” comment is one of those implicating comments. Having children is just something you choose to do when you’ve exhausted all the other fun areas of life. They hold you down, take away your freedom, and create piles of unending work which they are never grateful for. Some of us have caught on that children are not a burden, but a blessing- be it one child or twenty, they are each a blessing. We don’t feel they hold us down, but propel our lives into different and exciting adventures. We don’t feel we’ve lost any freedom. That work is the work of our lives and those little people are so thankful for it. I feel fulfilled as a mother. Something I didn’t experience before kids.

  62. Thank you for this article, Talitha. There has only been one time that the “hands full” comment did not come across as rude and condescending to me. It was the one time that someone saw me unloading my 4 kids and the groceries into my van, said, “You have your hands full!” Then waited for me to finish unloading so they could take my cart for me. Their offer to actually help a busy mom changed the entire tone of the statement.
    I don’t find it so much an issue of how many kids you have, but in how people view children. So often people imply that children are such a burden. The “hands full” comment is one of those implicating comments. Having children is just something you choose to do when you’ve exhausted all the other fun areas of life. They hold you down, take away your freedom, and create piles of unending work which they are never grateful for. Some of us have caught on that children are not a burden, but a blessing- be it one child or twenty, they are each a blessing. We don’t feel they hold us down, but propel our lives into different and exciting adventures. We don’t feel we’ve lost any freedom. That work is the work of our lives and those little people are so thankful for it. I feel fulfilled as a mother. Something I didn’t experience before kids.

  63. YES! I was once asked, “Who brain-washed you?” and I don’t even think I had all 8 of ours with me. Apparently it’s offensive to say something about a person’s sexual preferences or career choice, but if you have more than the typical 1.3, you are fair game for ridicule.
    But we know the secret, don’t we? We know what a riotous ball it is when all the kids are home. Our oldest is getting married in July and we’re just beginning to get glimpses of the kind of fun you’re having. I’ll take these kids over anything else, any day.

  64. YES! I was once asked, “Who brain-washed you?” and I don’t even think I had all 8 of ours with me. Apparently it’s offensive to say something about a person’s sexual preferences or career choice, but if you have more than the typical 1.3, you are fair game for ridicule.
    But we know the secret, don’t we? We know what a riotous ball it is when all the kids are home. Our oldest is getting married in July and we’re just beginning to get glimpses of the kind of fun you’re having. I’ll take these kids over anything else, any day.

  65. I get this comment and I only have 3! I so want to say, “oh this in nothing! I’ve got 5 more at home!” ha!

  66. I get this comment and I only have 3! I so want to say, “oh this in nothing! I’ve got 5 more at home!” ha!

  67. I would say, “actually we have a TV, but we prefer not having it in the middle of our marriage. Because we love each other.”

  68. I would say, “actually we have a TV, but we prefer not having it in the middle of our marriage. Because we love each other.”

  69. We have 5 (all adopted through foster care ages 10,9,8, 3, and 2) and what I get along with the hands full comment is “are they ALL yours” yep every single one of them hand picked by us to be a part of our family. We have fostered 24 children, adopted 5, seen 2 move to another adoptive family, 5 move to an aunt and uncle, and the rest return home successfully, and we can’t wait to do it all again in the next few months as we renew our license to foster/adopt in our state. My hands are full of so many blessings that after years of infertility I can’t even begin to explain to people who make random comments about my family. My children are the love of my life (my husband too who didn’t think he wanted more kids after having 2 adult children from his first marraige and now 4 grandkids).

  70. We have 5 (all adopted through foster care ages 10,9,8, 3, and 2) and what I get along with the hands full comment is “are they ALL yours” yep every single one of them hand picked by us to be a part of our family. We have fostered 24 children, adopted 5, seen 2 move to another adoptive family, 5 move to an aunt and uncle, and the rest return home successfully, and we can’t wait to do it all again in the next few months as we renew our license to foster/adopt in our state. My hands are full of so many blessings that after years of infertility I can’t even begin to explain to people who make random comments about my family. My children are the love of my life (my husband too who didn’t think he wanted more kids after having 2 adult children from his first marraige and now 4 grandkids).

  71. I think the comment is often a way to start a conversation. I feel the tone of this article is a bit harsh…the cat comment? It seems as though the author judged the woman she encountered in line for her life choices in the exact the manner she felt she has been judged.
    I am one of seven children and just had my first child three months ago. I have said on many an occasion to someone in line, “Wow, your hands are full.” I don’t think it’s offensive nor have I ever intended it to be offensive…and no I don’t have cats:)

  72. I think the comment is often a way to start a conversation. I feel the tone of this article is a bit harsh…the cat comment? It seems as though the author judged the woman she encountered in line for her life choices in the exact the manner she felt she has been judged.
    I am one of seven children and just had my first child three months ago. I have said on many an occasion to someone in line, “Wow, your hands are full.” I don’t think it’s offensive nor have I ever intended it to be offensive…and no I don’t have cats:)

  73. I don’t remember many times that someone has used it to start a conversation, and rarely do they ask me anything that implies they have an interest in my family.
    As for your thoughts about my description of the woman at the Walmart, you make some great points and I thought through them myself when I was writing. I had to describe her, so I did, and I threw in the cats to make it humorous. I live in intown Atlanta, in a neighborhood with people who REALLY do prefer pets over children and have told me so, even to the point of “I really do wish that I could choose the poor dog over a child sometimes..” referring to a pit bull who almost attacked my children (and pit bulls are MY favorite dogs!)
    So, yes. Ya caught me. I’m a bit jaded on that one. Thanks so much for posting your thoughts!

  74. I don’t remember many times that someone has used it to start a conversation, and rarely do they ask me anything that implies they have an interest in my family.
    As for your thoughts about my description of the woman at the Walmart, you make some great points and I thought through them myself when I was writing. I had to describe her, so I did, and I threw in the cats to make it humorous. I live in intown Atlanta, in a neighborhood with people who REALLY do prefer pets over children and have told me so, even to the point of “I really do wish that I could choose the poor dog over a child sometimes..” referring to a pit bull who almost attacked my children (and pit bulls are MY favorite dogs!)
    So, yes. Ya caught me. I’m a bit jaded on that one. Thanks so much for posting your thoughts!

  75. I get that comment a lot as well, I have 4 girls then had the 2 boys…I just say “No,not really, got what God gave me” 🙂 As for the “hands full” comment (I also get “wow you must be tired!”) I dont let them bother me…because in the end someone is always going to say something offensive to someone…It does no one any good to fret over it. Certainly not me, and most people who make thoughtless statements arent going to know it bothered you much less care…

  76. I get that comment a lot as well, I have 4 girls then had the 2 boys…I just say “No,not really, got what God gave me” 🙂 As for the “hands full” comment (I also get “wow you must be tired!”) I dont let them bother me…because in the end someone is always going to say something offensive to someone…It does no one any good to fret over it. Certainly not me, and most people who make thoughtless statements arent going to know it bothered you much less care…

  77. Do you KNOW how babies are made, AND You need a TV or a Hobby or something! lol Get those a LOT as well!

  78. Do you KNOW how babies are made, AND You need a TV or a Hobby or something! lol Get those a LOT as well!

  79. I read this and it is so what I go through daily. You explained it well. I will be using some of what you say for the rest of the times I go out. We rarely go out with all SEVEN of the boys but when we do, I get looks, words and more. We are having our 8th and I have heard it all from family. I get asked, why do you want those many kids, don’t you want time for yourself and more. I said to the reply of that, “no, I would be bored, I don’t like to be bored. I fill it with life, laughter and love. Once they grow up I will be alone and old. For right now I want to fill it with them, not time alone or possessions” I got no reply to that. When we do go out, we get the omg your hands are full and my husband says this isn’t even half of it. I used to get embarrassed cus society now a days has a picture of the perfect family, 2 children. You go out with 7 and your a monster, a freak show, clown car, what ever you want to put it. I get asked, so your trying for that girl. Perhaps, maybe its love Im achieving. Only I know that for sure. I loved this blog and I will use some of the things you said in here next time I get asked things like this. 🙂
    Best wishes,
    Annick (from Canada)

  80. I read this and it is so what I go through daily. You explained it well. I will be using some of what you say for the rest of the times I go out. We rarely go out with all SEVEN of the boys but when we do, I get looks, words and more. We are having our 8th and I have heard it all from family. I get asked, why do you want those many kids, don’t you want time for yourself and more. I said to the reply of that, “no, I would be bored, I don’t like to be bored. I fill it with life, laughter and love. Once they grow up I will be alone and old. For right now I want to fill it with them, not time alone or possessions” I got no reply to that. When we do go out, we get the omg your hands are full and my husband says this isn’t even half of it. I used to get embarrassed cus society now a days has a picture of the perfect family, 2 children. You go out with 7 and your a monster, a freak show, clown car, what ever you want to put it. I get asked, so your trying for that girl. Perhaps, maybe its love Im achieving. Only I know that for sure. I loved this blog and I will use some of the things you said in here next time I get asked things like this. 🙂
    Best wishes,
    Annick (from Canada)

  81. We have eight kiddos, ages 19, 18, 16, 13, 11, 9, 6, and 3. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that I have my hands full. I just smile and say, “Yes I do!” I’ve also had the “Don’t you know what causes that?” a zillion times. To that I reply, “Yes I do, and it’s really fun, too!” I wouldn’t trade my large family for the world. Great post!

  82. We have eight kiddos, ages 19, 18, 16, 13, 11, 9, 6, and 3. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that I have my hands full. I just smile and say, “Yes I do!” I’ve also had the “Don’t you know what causes that?” a zillion times. To that I reply, “Yes I do, and it’s really fun, too!” I wouldn’t trade my large family for the world. Great post!

  83. I have to say I have never been offended by being told I must have my hands full. I only have 2 girls 8 years apart. I always wanted 3 or 4 boys but started later in life and with the difficult pregnancies and realizing I am happy with 2 girls I do not PLAN on having more. LOL… My first was so well behaved people complemented me on that all the time and I loved it. Now my second (almost 3), strips in public, throws herself on the floor, dances through the stores, screams at the top of her lungs, etc everywhere and anywhere and that is when I get people saying she must be a handful. I say yes she is and smile and act proud! I do not get embarrassed by my children, I do not say anything about other people’s children, etc. What offends me is the little old men and women and the single people with no kids who give me dirty looks because my child is expressing herself in the only way she thinks she knows how. Other moms laugh and giggle when my daughter decides she has had enough and lays in the middle of the floor in the middle of the grocery store and everyone has to go around her. Or when she decides her feet are sweaty and removes her shoes and socks and then flings herself to the floor again in the grocery store (which is her favorite store). Are my hands full? Yes, Yes they are! They are full of the most beautiful, cuddly, obnoxious, time consuming, loveable little package I could ever fill my hands with! No I don’t find the statement offensive, I find it more of a compliment whether that is how it is meant or not since I see it as I have made it through another day with a rambunctious feisty child who is turning my hair gray and giving me an ulcer and a preteen who has more attitude than a girls basketball team all rolled into one! I would never change my children for anything even though daily they try my patience and I wonder how I am going to make it through till tomorrow! But having children has taught me just how tough I am and how much I can take on and handle and know that if I had more children, I would make it through the next day and the next day with my hands comfortably full! Each person has their own choice to have kids, not have kids, how many they want, etc. We all have our own ways of raising them too. Am I a bad mom for allowing my 3 year old to scream and yell for 30 minutes since she does not want to go to sleep. And am I a bad mother for chuckling at all the reasons she screams why I should come get her up? No, it is just my way of raising MY children. I guess what I am trying to say in a VERY round about way is that everyone is different and while a saying may offend one mom, it will make the next mom proud to hear it and beam that she made it through another day with her hands wonderfully full.

  84. I have to say I have never been offended by being told I must have my hands full. I only have 2 girls 8 years apart. I always wanted 3 or 4 boys but started later in life and with the difficult pregnancies and realizing I am happy with 2 girls I do not PLAN on having more. LOL… My first was so well behaved people complemented me on that all the time and I loved it. Now my second (almost 3), strips in public, throws herself on the floor, dances through the stores, screams at the top of her lungs, etc everywhere and anywhere and that is when I get people saying she must be a handful. I say yes she is and smile and act proud! I do not get embarrassed by my children, I do not say anything about other people’s children, etc. What offends me is the little old men and women and the single people with no kids who give me dirty looks because my child is expressing herself in the only way she thinks she knows how. Other moms laugh and giggle when my daughter decides she has had enough and lays in the middle of the floor in the middle of the grocery store and everyone has to go around her. Or when she decides her feet are sweaty and removes her shoes and socks and then flings herself to the floor again in the grocery store (which is her favorite store). Are my hands full? Yes, Yes they are! They are full of the most beautiful, cuddly, obnoxious, time consuming, loveable little package I could ever fill my hands with! No I don’t find the statement offensive, I find it more of a compliment whether that is how it is meant or not since I see it as I have made it through another day with a rambunctious feisty child who is turning my hair gray and giving me an ulcer and a preteen who has more attitude than a girls basketball team all rolled into one! I would never change my children for anything even though daily they try my patience and I wonder how I am going to make it through till tomorrow! But having children has taught me just how tough I am and how much I can take on and handle and know that if I had more children, I would make it through the next day and the next day with my hands comfortably full! Each person has their own choice to have kids, not have kids, how many they want, etc. We all have our own ways of raising them too. Am I a bad mom for allowing my 3 year old to scream and yell for 30 minutes since she does not want to go to sleep. And am I a bad mother for chuckling at all the reasons she screams why I should come get her up? No, it is just my way of raising MY children. I guess what I am trying to say in a VERY round about way is that everyone is different and while a saying may offend one mom, it will make the next mom proud to hear it and beam that she made it through another day with her hands wonderfully full.

  85. I’m the mom of three little girls, 6, 3 and 6 months. My typical response to “wow, you have your hands full” is “oh, we’re just getting started!!”
    and my response to “do you know what causes that?” is to respond with as much of a mischievous look as i can muster at the moment “oh, and we are gooood at it!”

  86. I’m the mom of three little girls, 6, 3 and 6 months. My typical response to “wow, you have your hands full” is “oh, we’re just getting started!!”
    and my response to “do you know what causes that?” is to respond with as much of a mischievous look as i can muster at the moment “oh, and we are gooood at it!”

  87. Wal-Mart mom who sounds sooooo happy and not bitter at all. Reading about all the barking makes me all warm and fuzzy. “God” really knows how to bless (pick) them, (quattro/cinco/octo moms that is). Priceless!

  88. Wal-Mart mom who sounds sooooo happy and not bitter at all. Reading about all the barking makes me all warm and fuzzy. “God” really knows how to bless (pick) them, (quattro/cinco/octo moms that is). Priceless!

  89. Thank you so much for this! After reading your bitter diatribe, I’m even more grateful that my lovely husband and I are free from crotchdroppings!

  90. Thank you so much for this! After reading your bitter diatribe, I’m even more grateful that my lovely husband and I are free from crotchdroppings!

  91. Absolutely! I see no need to contribute to the destruction of our earth and wasting of our resources! Enough people are being mindless and doing it already!

  92. Absolutely! I see no need to contribute to the destruction of our earth and wasting of our resources! Enough people are being mindless and doing it already!

  93. Wow, you sound bitter. Lighten up.
    And there’s no need to insult people who haven’t had children. Every time you can find a parking spot or aren’t stuck in traffic, you can thank people who DIDN’T have children, because they didn’t contribute to overpopulation.

  94. Wow, you sound bitter. Lighten up.
    And there’s no need to insult people who haven’t had children. Every time you can find a parking spot or aren’t stuck in traffic, you can thank people who DIDN’T have children, because they didn’t contribute to overpopulation.

  95. Oh my goodness! Believe me! We get these comments all the time, and I can kinda understand it with having a dozen children (well, only 10 here on earth now). We have had grocery clerks say to my “can’t you keep your pants on” to asking VERY personal questions. Many believe it HAS to be a blended family.
    I wrote about this very thing on my blog, not too long ago and royally embarrassed my dear husband . . . but the clerk had it coming!
    http://wp.me/p97XK-3KB

  96. Oh my goodness! Believe me! We get these comments all the time, and I can kinda understand it with having a dozen children (well, only 10 here on earth now). We have had grocery clerks say to my “can’t you keep your pants on” to asking VERY personal questions. Many believe it HAS to be a blended family.
    I wrote about this very thing on my blog, not too long ago and royally embarrassed my dear husband . . . but the clerk had it coming!
    http://wp.me/p97XK-3KB

  97. Loved this. Your second remark about having great sex with your husband had me laughing out loud. I have 7 amazing kids, 13 years and under with my 8th due here in 3 weeks. And we always get the stares and the comments. Back when we only had 4 with 1 on the way, it used to stress me out to go in public because of the looks and comments especially if I was alone as some people would have the nerve to say stuff like “Are they all yours? From the same father?” I knew that the ones saying the rude things were only a fraction of the ones who were thinking rude things. One day after leaving Walmart where someone said something rude AGAIN I burst into tears in the car. I said I hate that everyone thinks we are weirdos and say rude things. We aren’t weirdos!” And my husband said “But WE ARE WEIRDOS! We ARE a strange site wherever we go! People say things cause it IS UNUSUAL to see someone with 4 kids and pregnant with another AND HAPPY ABOUT IT!! BUT WHO CARES! We have chosen this life as part of God’s plan for us and if that makes us standout, SO BE IT!”
    I think something clicked for me that day. And I began arming myself with friendly comments to reply with. People say things like “Wow, you have your hands full.” And I will reply with “There is definitely NEVER a dull moment.” Or “yes, I do and I LOVE IT!” They will say rude things like “You know what causes that right?” And I will reply with “Oh yes, and we quite like it.” Now we get the whole “So are you trying to get yourself a TV show?” And I say “Heck no, I hate pictures and video of myself. They couldn’t pay me enough to be recorded prancing around first thing in the morning in my pajamas with no make-up on.
    There are those times when the comment is in reference to a child misbehaving and those are still hard to swallow. Mostly cause the stranger is RIGHT at the moment and it feels like an indication of my parenting skills as a whole. In those situations, I tend to say things like. “Yeah, she/he didn’t get their nap today” or “Mostly the good outweighs the bad.” or “never a dull moment in this family”. I always smile and move on.
    Anyways, I felt I should comment. If you are quiverfull, those comments will never stop and eventually they will all just roll off your back. My favorite thing to say now is “We have sooo much fun and the loving bond we all have just grows with each new addition to our family. I am truly blessed to have my hands this full.”

  98. Loved this. Your second remark about having great sex with your husband had me laughing out loud. I have 7 amazing kids, 13 years and under with my 8th due here in 3 weeks. And we always get the stares and the comments. Back when we only had 4 with 1 on the way, it used to stress me out to go in public because of the looks and comments especially if I was alone as some people would have the nerve to say stuff like “Are they all yours? From the same father?” I knew that the ones saying the rude things were only a fraction of the ones who were thinking rude things. One day after leaving Walmart where someone said something rude AGAIN I burst into tears in the car. I said I hate that everyone thinks we are weirdos and say rude things. We aren’t weirdos!” And my husband said “But WE ARE WEIRDOS! We ARE a strange site wherever we go! People say things cause it IS UNUSUAL to see someone with 4 kids and pregnant with another AND HAPPY ABOUT IT!! BUT WHO CARES! We have chosen this life as part of God’s plan for us and if that makes us standout, SO BE IT!”
    I think something clicked for me that day. And I began arming myself with friendly comments to reply with. People say things like “Wow, you have your hands full.” And I will reply with “There is definitely NEVER a dull moment.” Or “yes, I do and I LOVE IT!” They will say rude things like “You know what causes that right?” And I will reply with “Oh yes, and we quite like it.” Now we get the whole “So are you trying to get yourself a TV show?” And I say “Heck no, I hate pictures and video of myself. They couldn’t pay me enough to be recorded prancing around first thing in the morning in my pajamas with no make-up on.
    There are those times when the comment is in reference to a child misbehaving and those are still hard to swallow. Mostly cause the stranger is RIGHT at the moment and it feels like an indication of my parenting skills as a whole. In those situations, I tend to say things like. “Yeah, she/he didn’t get their nap today” or “Mostly the good outweighs the bad.” or “never a dull moment in this family”. I always smile and move on.
    Anyways, I felt I should comment. If you are quiverfull, those comments will never stop and eventually they will all just roll off your back. My favorite thing to say now is “We have sooo much fun and the loving bond we all have just grows with each new addition to our family. I am truly blessed to have my hands this full.”

  99. Most of the “large” families I know grow their own food, raise their own chickens (and other animals), repurpose almost everything in their house, hardly buy things new (almost always used), recycle, volunteer and serve in their communities, and are less destructive as a family unit than most of the single people I know.
    But you don’t seem to care to know that through your judgement and distaste for, what did you call them? Crotchdroppings? Funny, since even you were a crotchdropping at one point in time. I guess some of us never evolve.

  100. Most of the “large” families I know grow their own food, raise their own chickens (and other animals), repurpose almost everything in their house, hardly buy things new (almost always used), recycle, volunteer and serve in their communities, and are less destructive as a family unit than most of the single people I know.
    But you don’t seem to care to know that through your judgement and distaste for, what did you call them? Crotchdroppings? Funny, since even you were a crotchdropping at one point in time. I guess some of us never evolve.

  101. Really Rose? As long as people are raising loving, intelligent, kind people, and supporting them with their own hard earned income what business is it if yours?
    Keep it positive and go fishing for a fight semewhere else.

  102. Really Rose? As long as people are raising loving, intelligent, kind people, and supporting them with their own hard earned income what business is it if yours?
    Keep it positive and go fishing for a fight semewhere else.

  103. That is fantastic. Thanks so much for sharing a positive experience. REALLY, many people do mean well, but we all can tell when they don’t. It’s good to hear the positive stories, too. I appreciate you commenting.

  104. That is fantastic. Thanks so much for sharing a positive experience. REALLY, many people do mean well, but we all can tell when they don’t. It’s good to hear the positive stories, too. I appreciate you commenting.

  105. And I don’t believe that I have ever heard a more crass, disgusting term used in reference to another human being. You do realize that children are just small people right? Ones deserving of respect and kindness right? Every once in a while, there is just something that makes realize just how jacked up and damaged some folks are in the world.

  106. And I don’t believe that I have ever heard a more crass, disgusting term used in reference to another human being. You do realize that children are just small people right? Ones deserving of respect and kindness right? Every once in a while, there is just something that makes realize just how jacked up and damaged some folks are in the world.

  107. As a mom of 7, I get that comment just about every time I leave the house. Usually when I get it, it is older people with that reminiscing glint in their eye. Not always….but…
    I usually just say ‘it’s my plan to take over the world!’ And smile.
    The question I hate the most is if they all have the same dad. Um, seriously?!? (Well, that one and ‘is birth control not an option??)

  108. As a mom of 7, I get that comment just about every time I leave the house. Usually when I get it, it is older people with that reminiscing glint in their eye. Not always….but…
    I usually just say ‘it’s my plan to take over the world!’ And smile.
    The question I hate the most is if they all have the same dad. Um, seriously?!? (Well, that one and ‘is birth control not an option??)

  109. Hi
    I love this! Always makes me feel like I’m among friends as nobody I know understands! I get this comment every time I go out too – without fail! Yes it drives me crazy sometimes but, as tired as the comment is getting, I have to realise it is out of ignorance that they are saying it. And, in response to someone else who posted on here, no it is not out of admiration these people say it. Once in a while you will get an old person say it with a smile, but generally it is said out of pity even if my kids are behaving & I am clearly not in distress. Also it is the fact that they don’t even know me. The way I have put it is that I wouldn’t go up to a stranger who was smoking and say “Do you know that is bad for your health?! What are you doing?!” It is none of my business. So why do people interfere with me while I am attempting to get the million things done that are on my list before I really do end up in distress?!
    The most offensive comment I get – & I get it pretty frequently – is:
    “PLEEAZZE tell me that they’re not ALL yours?!” Note the question mark and the begging voice in ‘please’. They actually are asking (for their own comfort & peace of mind) for me to disown some of my children IN FRONT of them! I just looked at them blankly in disbelief with my mouth gaping the 1st few times. Now I try to muster a smile and just say “yes, they are all mine” and move on swiftly before I say something I will regret. I have had to explain to my older children that some people just have no idea of the joy we get out of children and they have not had this revelation from God yet as they would be a bit upset sometimes by the mean comments. Now my eldest handles them better than I do.
    My favourite are the reactions from family & friends – people who actually know us and our situation! We had 5 children and then my husband had a vasectomy due to pressure from various people. Then God changed our hearts and we had it reversed last June. We are expecting our 6th blessing soon. When people realise that we intend to have more after this they are so shocked. I said to my mother that we are not going to go through the expense, effort and most of all PAIN of the reversal op (over $10,000 aussie) for “oh just one more would be nice and then you can just have it snipped again”! They actually thought we would get ANOTHER vasectomy after the baby is born!
    Other funny one is “Don’t you have a TV? (grin)” Well no actually…
    And yes, I am so glad I am not gonna end up a cat lady.

  110. Hi
    I love this! Always makes me feel like I’m among friends as nobody I know understands! I get this comment every time I go out too – without fail! Yes it drives me crazy sometimes but, as tired as the comment is getting, I have to realise it is out of ignorance that they are saying it. And, in response to someone else who posted on here, no it is not out of admiration these people say it. Once in a while you will get an old person say it with a smile, but generally it is said out of pity even if my kids are behaving & I am clearly not in distress. Also it is the fact that they don’t even know me. The way I have put it is that I wouldn’t go up to a stranger who was smoking and say “Do you know that is bad for your health?! What are you doing?!” It is none of my business. So why do people interfere with me while I am attempting to get the million things done that are on my list before I really do end up in distress?!
    The most offensive comment I get – & I get it pretty frequently – is:
    “PLEEAZZE tell me that they’re not ALL yours?!” Note the question mark and the begging voice in ‘please’. They actually are asking (for their own comfort & peace of mind) for me to disown some of my children IN FRONT of them! I just looked at them blankly in disbelief with my mouth gaping the 1st few times. Now I try to muster a smile and just say “yes, they are all mine” and move on swiftly before I say something I will regret. I have had to explain to my older children that some people just have no idea of the joy we get out of children and they have not had this revelation from God yet as they would be a bit upset sometimes by the mean comments. Now my eldest handles them better than I do.
    My favourite are the reactions from family & friends – people who actually know us and our situation! We had 5 children and then my husband had a vasectomy due to pressure from various people. Then God changed our hearts and we had it reversed last June. We are expecting our 6th blessing soon. When people realise that we intend to have more after this they are so shocked. I said to my mother that we are not going to go through the expense, effort and most of all PAIN of the reversal op (over $10,000 aussie) for “oh just one more would be nice and then you can just have it snipped again”! They actually thought we would get ANOTHER vasectomy after the baby is born!
    Other funny one is “Don’t you have a TV? (grin)” Well no actually…
    And yes, I am so glad I am not gonna end up a cat lady.

  111. I absolutely know what you mean. People see me with my six precious babies and they judge me, they think I’m selfish for having so many and that I’m contributing to overpopulation or just trying to replicate myself or trying to find fullfillment thru them instead of on my own etc but the truth is I ADOPTED these angels and they will never know how amazing it feels to know you gave a sweet child in need a better life!!! And that is worth all the time and $$$$ in the world!!!!! Praise Jesus for sending them to me!!!!!!!!!

  112. I absolutely know what you mean. People see me with my six precious babies and they judge me, they think I’m selfish for having so many and that I’m contributing to overpopulation or just trying to replicate myself or trying to find fullfillment thru them instead of on my own etc but the truth is I ADOPTED these angels and they will never know how amazing it feels to know you gave a sweet child in need a better life!!! And that is worth all the time and $$$$ in the world!!!!! Praise Jesus for sending them to me!!!!!!!!!

  113. Such a good reminder that we’re not alone in this even though we’re the minority. Just a couple days ago I was told I was crazy because of my six. (Not for the first time.) Offensive? Absolutely! It’s a belief that you must be an idiot to have allowed something so foolish. Thank the Lord that the Lord has given my husband and I his heart for children and helped us to understand they are worth all the hassle, challenge and sacrifice that they require. When I remember that valuing children is the Lord’s heart it make perfect sense why its foolish to the world!

  114. Such a good reminder that we’re not alone in this even though we’re the minority. Just a couple days ago I was told I was crazy because of my six. (Not for the first time.) Offensive? Absolutely! It’s a belief that you must be an idiot to have allowed something so foolish. Thank the Lord that the Lord has given my husband and I his heart for children and helped us to understand they are worth all the hassle, challenge and sacrifice that they require. When I remember that valuing children is the Lord’s heart it make perfect sense why its foolish to the world!

  115. I actually had someone (family, mind you…) that they were going to pray that The Lord closes my womb! And that we needed to ‘be responsible’ and ‘use self control’
    I almost asked them when was the last time we asked to borrow money to pay for groceries, clothes, etc.
    *forever rolling my eyeballs*

  116. I actually had someone (family, mind you…) that they were going to pray that The Lord closes my womb! And that we needed to ‘be responsible’ and ‘use self control’
    I almost asked them when was the last time we asked to borrow money to pay for groceries, clothes, etc.
    *forever rolling my eyeballs*

  117. We have five, and although I have been fortunate to rarely receive the “hands full” comment accompanied by disdain, I do get the comment itself often and typically respond with a smile and say “yes, full of blessings!”

  118. We have five, and although I have been fortunate to rarely receive the “hands full” comment accompanied by disdain, I do get the comment itself often and typically respond with a smile and say “yes, full of blessings!”

  119. Wow, you sure have your hands full…
    So do I, with my amazing and loving husband of 19 years (and yes, we have an amazing sex life too although I’d never share that with a stranger in Walmart), our beloved dogs (yes, we love them more than children and spoil them silly as is our right), wonderful friends, fulfilling social life, many hobbies, beautiful home and so much more.
    My life is no less important than yours because you have children and I chose not too.
    It’s simply a life choice, you chose kids and my husband and I did not, it doesn’t mean we are evil people and you are a saint, it’s just one decision we all made in our lives.
    With 7 million people on the planet, if everyone had 4+ children, we’d run out of resources even faster than we already are.
    I still don’t know why you were so offended at such an innocent comment, she clearly didn’t mean to offend you, lighten up.

  120. Wow, you sure have your hands full…
    So do I, with my amazing and loving husband of 19 years (and yes, we have an amazing sex life too although I’d never share that with a stranger in Walmart), our beloved dogs (yes, we love them more than children and spoil them silly as is our right), wonderful friends, fulfilling social life, many hobbies, beautiful home and so much more.
    My life is no less important than yours because you have children and I chose not too.
    It’s simply a life choice, you chose kids and my husband and I did not, it doesn’t mean we are evil people and you are a saint, it’s just one decision we all made in our lives.
    With 7 million people on the planet, if everyone had 4+ children, we’d run out of resources even faster than we already are.
    I still don’t know why you were so offended at such an innocent comment, she clearly didn’t mean to offend you, lighten up.

  121. As a childless woman who has dedicated her life to early childhood education and animal rescue, I find this extremely offensive. Since when are Christians supposed to judge others? This is what I get from this post. Just because someone does not have children does not make them selfish consumers. I think you need to look inside yourself to find out why you feel the need put the rest of down as though we are somehow not as valuable.

  122. As a childless woman who has dedicated her life to early childhood education and animal rescue, I find this extremely offensive. Since when are Christians supposed to judge others? This is what I get from this post. Just because someone does not have children does not make them selfish consumers. I think you need to look inside yourself to find out why you feel the need put the rest of down as though we are somehow not as valuable.

  123. You’re life sounds great, and I’m glad you and your husband are happy with your choice. I absolutely support people’s choice to not to have kids and be happy. It’s the portion of society who condescendingly despises those who do that I have a problem with.
    Never would it occur to any mother to look at a childless woman who is a stranger(especially if she is happily childless like yourself) and say “Wow, your house sure must be empty.” It’s unheard of. Oh, I know that we moms can be just as guilty of accidentally saying something offensive like “you’ll have some someday” when you may not want them. But never, would I look at a childless woman and say “Wow, you’re house must be empty and lonely. WHAT POSSESSED YOU?”
    If you think she didn’t mean to offend, you CLEARLY did not read the entire article I wrote.

  124. You’re life sounds great, and I’m glad you and your husband are happy with your choice. I absolutely support people’s choice to not to have kids and be happy. It’s the portion of society who condescendingly despises those who do that I have a problem with.
    Never would it occur to any mother to look at a childless woman who is a stranger(especially if she is happily childless like yourself) and say “Wow, your house sure must be empty.” It’s unheard of. Oh, I know that we moms can be just as guilty of accidentally saying something offensive like “you’ll have some someday” when you may not want them. But never, would I look at a childless woman and say “Wow, you’re house must be empty and lonely. WHAT POSSESSED YOU?”
    If you think she didn’t mean to offend, you CLEARLY did not read the entire article I wrote.

  125. Oh, the bible says not to judge unless you are prepared to be judged. Obviously, by sharing this on the internet.. I was ready for ya. 😉
    I have plenty of single and/or childless friends. They are amazing and just as valuable as my mom friends and equally brighten my days. In no way do I consider them selfish consumers. BUT, all of the things listed above in exchange for the children that I have every day aren’t worth it in comparison. If you think that someone who was clearly judging me (you can NOT really think that “What possessed you was a compliment!) was acting appropriately. My 10 year old knew exactly what she was implying. Many people say “You sure have your hands full.” with a smile as a compliment. There is no way that is what she was doing.
    And if you think that this blog post was about people like you, maybe it struck a cord in you. Go so your own little “look inside yourself” on that one. Have fun. 🙂

  126. Oh, the bible says not to judge unless you are prepared to be judged. Obviously, by sharing this on the internet.. I was ready for ya. 😉
    I have plenty of single and/or childless friends. They are amazing and just as valuable as my mom friends and equally brighten my days. In no way do I consider them selfish consumers. BUT, all of the things listed above in exchange for the children that I have every day aren’t worth it in comparison. If you think that someone who was clearly judging me (you can NOT really think that “What possessed you was a compliment!) was acting appropriately. My 10 year old knew exactly what she was implying. Many people say “You sure have your hands full.” with a smile as a compliment. There is no way that is what she was doing.
    And if you think that this blog post was about people like you, maybe it struck a cord in you. Go so your own little “look inside yourself” on that one. Have fun. 🙂

  127. Your response here is SPOT on to why this comment offends me. thanks girl. seriously thank you.

  128. Your response here is SPOT on to why this comment offends me. thanks girl. seriously thank you.

  129. Ok, so I was trying to refrain from belaboring a point. A blog like this isn’t usually designed as a way for some to lecture. Blogs are mostly personal experience, personal perspective. No one should be getting offended to the extent that it ruins their day.
    I do want to point out that the overpopulation argument is actually invalid. Those who are interested in this, may want to do a little research. Almost all of Europe is desperate to re-populate; many countries have even implemented programs to encourage procreation – that’s how desperate they are. It creates uneven burden on single working people who will have to support the ever growing older population. Even the U.S. is showing signs of this problem.

  130. Ok, so I was trying to refrain from belaboring a point. A blog like this isn’t usually designed as a way for some to lecture. Blogs are mostly personal experience, personal perspective. No one should be getting offended to the extent that it ruins their day.
    I do want to point out that the overpopulation argument is actually invalid. Those who are interested in this, may want to do a little research. Almost all of Europe is desperate to re-populate; many countries have even implemented programs to encourage procreation – that’s how desperate they are. It creates uneven burden on single working people who will have to support the ever growing older population. Even the U.S. is showing signs of this problem.

  131. I have 2 children, a 21 month old daughter and a 3 month old son. I want 4 children so I guess it is good to know what’s in store. I will probably tell people “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I love my children, they bring so much joy to my life. People that don’t understand that are coming from a place I never want to be. I assume most of them really don’t mean to be offensive with their casual remarks. I take everyone with a grain of salt. If God blesses me with 2 more I will love them with everything I’ve got!

  132. I have 2 children, a 21 month old daughter and a 3 month old son. I want 4 children so I guess it is good to know what’s in store. I will probably tell people “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I love my children, they bring so much joy to my life. People that don’t understand that are coming from a place I never want to be. I assume most of them really don’t mean to be offensive with their casual remarks. I take everyone with a grain of salt. If God blesses me with 2 more I will love them with everything I’ve got!

  133. Christine, the author of this article was not intending to be offensive in any way. People such as yourself that take things like this as a personal attack are being over sensitive. She is celebrating the joy that children bring to our lives and the fact that no job or possessions would be worth trading them for. She never said she hates people that don’t have children… Where are you getting this impression from? She isn’t judging you, she is having a silly rant because it gets under her skin when people act like she should be pitied because she chose to have 4 children.

  134. Christine, the author of this article was not intending to be offensive in any way. People such as yourself that take things like this as a personal attack are being over sensitive. She is celebrating the joy that children bring to our lives and the fact that no job or possessions would be worth trading them for. She never said she hates people that don’t have children… Where are you getting this impression from? She isn’t judging you, she is having a silly rant because it gets under her skin when people act like she should be pitied because she chose to have 4 children.

  135. Hi Tiffany, I have seven children 10, 9, 7, 5, 3, 2, and four months. Twice I have had four children under five years old. I get this comment along with countless others every time we leave the house. I never think people are being rude. I think people are genuinely curious. I always smile and answer their questions or comments. I’ve only been rude once in the past ten years. I have five girls, then a boy and now another girl. I’ve heard every question or comment possible. I never take it as someone being rude to me. I think people want to get an inside look at how we manage things. I think being rude or sarcastic back is a terrible thing to do. I love my big family, but my husband and I are the only ones called to love our children. The single cat lady in the grocery store doesn’t love my children, that’s why she couldn’t imagine how I do what I do. It’s just part of society today to view it as we “have our hands full”. I love my life, but it’s not for every one. If you want to not offend someone who may be easily offended, maybe just say, “It looks like you have a wonderful life.”

  136. Hi Tiffany, I have seven children 10, 9, 7, 5, 3, 2, and four months. Twice I have had four children under five years old. I get this comment along with countless others every time we leave the house. I never think people are being rude. I think people are genuinely curious. I always smile and answer their questions or comments. I’ve only been rude once in the past ten years. I have five girls, then a boy and now another girl. I’ve heard every question or comment possible. I never take it as someone being rude to me. I think people want to get an inside look at how we manage things. I think being rude or sarcastic back is a terrible thing to do. I love my big family, but my husband and I are the only ones called to love our children. The single cat lady in the grocery store doesn’t love my children, that’s why she couldn’t imagine how I do what I do. It’s just part of society today to view it as we “have our hands full”. I love my life, but it’s not for every one. If you want to not offend someone who may be easily offended, maybe just say, “It looks like you have a wonderful life.”

  137. With a wink in your eye, lean in a little and tell them you have one and it has a *great* reflection, or tell them “oh no, our room is for two things – sleeping is the other, less frequent one!” If those don’t make them blush and shut up, I don’t know what else you could say.

  138. With a wink in your eye, lean in a little and tell them you have one and it has a *great* reflection, or tell them “oh no, our room is for two things – sleeping is the other, less frequent one!” If those don’t make them blush and shut up, I don’t know what else you could say.

  139. I have 4 children and 7 grandchildren. I have heard this comment for the last 30 years. I am truly concerned that you are so offended and feel that you have to respond with some fantastic sarcastic comment. And then make another defense of yourself. How about love and compassion, and let some things go? Smile, say something sweet, and hold the judgement.

  140. I have 4 children and 7 grandchildren. I have heard this comment for the last 30 years. I am truly concerned that you are so offended and feel that you have to respond with some fantastic sarcastic comment. And then make another defense of yourself. How about love and compassion, and let some things go? Smile, say something sweet, and hold the judgement.

  141. “Don’t you have a tv?” is actually the comment we most often got when living in Germany. (My husband is German and we lived there until my oldest daughter was 11. Here in Cyprus, we get ZERO negative comments about family size, and now have six children.) The best part was: we don’t. It is SO MUCH FUN to see people’s faces when I answer with a big grin, “No, as a matter of fact, we don’t!” My husband once said, “Nope, we have better things to do.” The funniest thing about that was that he didn’t mean anything by that except that we basically see tv as a major time-waster, but the person he said it to turned bright red. 🙂

  142. “Don’t you have a tv?” is actually the comment we most often got when living in Germany. (My husband is German and we lived there until my oldest daughter was 11. Here in Cyprus, we get ZERO negative comments about family size, and now have six children.) The best part was: we don’t. It is SO MUCH FUN to see people’s faces when I answer with a big grin, “No, as a matter of fact, we don’t!” My husband once said, “Nope, we have better things to do.” The funniest thing about that was that he didn’t mean anything by that except that we basically see tv as a major time-waster, but the person he said it to turned bright red. 🙂

  143. This cracks me up because once I was shopping with just three children (one of them a teenager and one a baby in a sling, so just one toddler, mostly being taken care of by my teen!) and that is the ONLY time I ever remember someone commenting about the difficulties of shopping with lots of children, and I wasn’t trying to make a point or be cheeky or anything when I said, “Huh? It’s so much easier shopping with only three of them–the others are all at home with my husband!” It wasn’t until I saw the reaction in the lady’s face that I realized that she really thought it must be challenging.

  144. This cracks me up because once I was shopping with just three children (one of them a teenager and one a baby in a sling, so just one toddler, mostly being taken care of by my teen!) and that is the ONLY time I ever remember someone commenting about the difficulties of shopping with lots of children, and I wasn’t trying to make a point or be cheeky or anything when I said, “Huh? It’s so much easier shopping with only three of them–the others are all at home with my husband!” It wasn’t until I saw the reaction in the lady’s face that I realized that she really thought it must be challenging.

  145. That was a really insightful response. I hadn’t thought of it from all those angles yet. I usually take that comment with a grain of salt and say something like “…in a good way!” or “…and my heart!” or “Lucky me!” I have four children as well.
    I recently decided to count it a blessing when people in public comment to me about my children because it reminds me to smile and show I am proud of them. They might have caught me with a scowl on my face or a scolding on my tongue and I want to get out of those habits!
    Anyway, thanks for your insights.

  146. That was a really insightful response. I hadn’t thought of it from all those angles yet. I usually take that comment with a grain of salt and say something like “…in a good way!” or “…and my heart!” or “Lucky me!” I have four children as well.
    I recently decided to count it a blessing when people in public comment to me about my children because it reminds me to smile and show I am proud of them. They might have caught me with a scowl on my face or a scolding on my tongue and I want to get out of those habits!
    Anyway, thanks for your insights.

  147. LOL, that’s amazing. “I don’t want to die alone,” I’ll be using that one! It’s TRUE! My husband works in eldercare, and it is SO hitting home right now why it is a blessing to have many children. (One of many reasons, of course.)

  148. LOL, that’s amazing. “I don’t want to die alone,” I’ll be using that one! It’s TRUE! My husband works in eldercare, and it is SO hitting home right now why it is a blessing to have many children. (One of many reasons, of course.)

  149. Right! Someone once said to me, “Don’t know what causes that?” (hahaha). I said, “The truth is, I actually like them!” A friend of mine told me I should have said, “The truth is, I actually like what causes that!” HAHAHAHAHA now i hope I have occasion to say that one day.

  150. Right! Someone once said to me, “Don’t know what causes that?” (hahaha). I said, “The truth is, I actually like them!” A friend of mine told me I should have said, “The truth is, I actually like what causes that!” HAHAHAHAHA now i hope I have occasion to say that one day.

  151. Ha Ha, seriously I get this from at least 3 people from every store we go in. Just last week I was in costco with my children and a woman had the audacity to ask me infront of my 6 darling littles “please, don’t tell me, are these all your children?” and it was said with a very rude tone, and as I replied “yes, and we have #7 on the way” she replies, “well I just don’t see how you can ever manage it” to which my reply was ” by the grace of God”. then I turn to the pregnant woman next to me and said “seriously since when is my fertility any of the publics concern” and we both had a good laugh. I could write a book with the comments we get. just for reference we have 6 littles and are pregnant with our 7th. The “your hands are full” comment is what we get most often. I just reply with “thank you” smile, and walk away. I’ve also told my kids to say to people who are rude “why don’t people like little kids?” that’s a fun one… I agree that the comment is offensive. Even if they don’t mean it to be. It can be said with a kind smile or with a smirk. usually we get the smirk… and they “don’t you know where those things come from yet?” to which we reply “yes, and we’re very good at it”… I can be smug too.

  152. Ha Ha, seriously I get this from at least 3 people from every store we go in. Just last week I was in costco with my children and a woman had the audacity to ask me infront of my 6 darling littles “please, don’t tell me, are these all your children?” and it was said with a very rude tone, and as I replied “yes, and we have #7 on the way” she replies, “well I just don’t see how you can ever manage it” to which my reply was ” by the grace of God”. then I turn to the pregnant woman next to me and said “seriously since when is my fertility any of the publics concern” and we both had a good laugh. I could write a book with the comments we get. just for reference we have 6 littles and are pregnant with our 7th. The “your hands are full” comment is what we get most often. I just reply with “thank you” smile, and walk away. I’ve also told my kids to say to people who are rude “why don’t people like little kids?” that’s a fun one… I agree that the comment is offensive. Even if they don’t mean it to be. It can be said with a kind smile or with a smirk. usually we get the smirk… and they “don’t you know where those things come from yet?” to which we reply “yes, and we’re very good at it”… I can be smug too.

  153. We have 5 all adopted from foster care and all different races, I had an employee at Sam’s club tell me that my 8 year old daugher wasn’t mine (she is AA and I am very white!) I just looked at the lady and said yes she is mine, didn’t think I needed to carry birth certificates and adoption decrees around for the kids to get a free sample! I would think that in this day and age with so many blended families and so many people who adopt or do foster care people would learn to just keep their comments to themselves but it never ceases to amaze me the stupidity that comes out of people, even people who know us.

  154. We have 5 all adopted from foster care and all different races, I had an employee at Sam’s club tell me that my 8 year old daugher wasn’t mine (she is AA and I am very white!) I just looked at the lady and said yes she is mine, didn’t think I needed to carry birth certificates and adoption decrees around for the kids to get a free sample! I would think that in this day and age with so many blended families and so many people who adopt or do foster care people would learn to just keep their comments to themselves but it never ceases to amaze me the stupidity that comes out of people, even people who know us.

  155. When someone makes the comment to you that, “You sure have your hands full”. Turn to them like they just paid you the biggest compliment. Simply beam at them and say, “I know, Right? Isn’t it WONDERFUL? I couldn’t imagine my life without them!!!” Then turn to the closest one of your children, engage them in whatever conversation you like, and turn your back on the stranger completely. Your child deserve your thoughts, energies, and attention … not some random stranger! 🙂

  156. When someone makes the comment to you that, “You sure have your hands full”. Turn to them like they just paid you the biggest compliment. Simply beam at them and say, “I know, Right? Isn’t it WONDERFUL? I couldn’t imagine my life without them!!!” Then turn to the closest one of your children, engage them in whatever conversation you like, and turn your back on the stranger completely. Your child deserve your thoughts, energies, and attention … not some random stranger! 🙂

  157. Thank you for your thoughtful response! It was very helpful in understanding why that comment can be hurtful to moms. 🙂

  158. Thank you for your thoughtful response! It was very helpful in understanding why that comment can be hurtful to moms. 🙂

  159. Hi Joan- thank you for taking the time to respond to me! I really like your perspective. Many blessings to you and Johanna and Talitha!

  160. Hi Joan- thank you for taking the time to respond to me! I really like your perspective. Many blessings to you and Johanna and Talitha!

  161. You can not possibly be serious. Our population is now the highest it has ever been by a LONG shot. In 1940 we had about 2 billion people, and now it’s over 7 billion. How then is it now in crisis? if 7 billion isn’t enough how did we possibly survive this long as a species? Riddle me that, genius. Europe is on its current pronatalist campaign for *political* reasons. But nice try.

  162. You can not possibly be serious. Our population is now the highest it has ever been by a LONG shot. In 1940 we had about 2 billion people, and now it’s over 7 billion. How then is it now in crisis? if 7 billion isn’t enough how did we possibly survive this long as a species? Riddle me that, genius. Europe is on its current pronatalist campaign for *political* reasons. But nice try.

  163. I don’t think it’s the comment that bothers us mothers as much as _how often_ it is said. It is usually the only thing a person will stop me for at the store. I have 6, soon to have 7 children and I can’t get through a store without hearing it at least 3 times PER store. That’s usually 9 times or more per shopping trip for me. It does get old but I remind myself that I may not get to be a missionary out on the mission field, but this is my mission field. My children are presenting the gospel every time we are out shopping.

  164. I don’t think it’s the comment that bothers us mothers as much as _how often_ it is said. It is usually the only thing a person will stop me for at the store. I have 6, soon to have 7 children and I can’t get through a store without hearing it at least 3 times PER store. That’s usually 9 times or more per shopping trip for me. It does get old but I remind myself that I may not get to be a missionary out on the mission field, but this is my mission field. My children are presenting the gospel every time we are out shopping.

  165. Uh sorry to burst your bubble but the comment about EU having programs to stimulate procreation is true. Germany for example pays parents (about) 1,000 euros per child. This is a stimulus for people to have more. Work your internet good, or better yet, take a trip to Germany to find out more 🙂

  166. Uh sorry to burst your bubble but the comment about EU having programs to stimulate procreation is true. Germany for example pays parents (about) 1,000 euros per child. This is a stimulus for people to have more. Work your internet good, or better yet, take a trip to Germany to find out more 🙂

  167. Great answer. I am #14 of 15., and a most important that I have observed is that children from large families have the traits of unshelfishness towards others, faith in God, hard workers and great love and RESPECT for their parents. I know a lot of large families, and these traits have been observed in each and everyone of them.

  168. Great answer. I am #14 of 15., and a most important that I have observed is that children from large families have the traits of unshelfishness towards others, faith in God, hard workers and great love and RESPECT for their parents. I know a lot of large families, and these traits have been observed in each and everyone of them.

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